The Heart Steps Approach – FAQ

Finding your Heart Steps

Claiming the gift of space and time

to allow yourself to emerge is a big step.

Below are answers to some of the questions you may have.




I hear so much about “finding my passion” – but I have no idea how to do it! Can you help?

“Finding your passion” means connecting with what is deepest within your heart. It begins with finding yourself. It’s part of what I like to call The Poppy Principle. The idea is simple: When you drop a poppy seed into the soil, it is genetically coded to grow into a poppy, crimson, standing tall and reaching for the sun. It’s purpose — it’s flower — lies within the seed itself. If you try to somehow coax it into being a deep blue trailing morning glory vine, it will disappoint you and itself, and it may even die.

Like wildflowers, we are each born with a unique set of potentials. I strive to create an environment for women and girls where the potential of each unique seed of self can be realized, an environment where it can bloom. Similarly, I help moms shape the kind of environment that supports joyful individuality for their daughters at home.

As you may have guessed, it is because of the Poppy Principle that my personal development studio is called Wildflower House. It’s a place to nurture you, as you come fully into your own.

What is the Heart Steps approach?

Finding yourself and building a life that really fits you is a process of discovering your path, one brick at a time.  These stepping stones that you carefully lay down are Heart Steps.

Think of your journey of self-discovery in terms of the Poppy Principle. It’s a process of uncovering, of surfacing what’s deep inside you, rather than a forced search for something external to yourself — what you “should” do; who you’re “supposed” to be. By following each spark of energy, by taking your unique Heart Steps, the seeds of possibility that lie within you grow and bloom. Like with a growing seedling, what your unique blossom will look like will be revealed to you one step at a time.

Sharing your inner self should feel just a little scary – in that exciting way that happens when you pick just the right ride at the amusement park – not too terrifying, but not too tame. The reward is an increasingly vibrant life; it’s like moving from black and white to Technicolor; from Kansas to Oz.  New possibilities will tantalize you and you’ll have the confidence to take on challenges that you never would have considered before – whether that’s having an authentic conversation with a family member, going back to school, advancing in your career, taking a stand in your community, or redesigning your home.

Following an inward path to find your self will automatically lead you to outward path of what you uniquely choose to do and be in the world. Quite simply, by following your own HeartSteps Path, you will come to life.

How will we work together?

How we work together is up to you. One of the first bricks in your Heart Steps Path will be the choice of which way of working fits you best. Choose between learning on your own; learning with support; working virtually and working both virtually and with live consultation.  You’ll find more about choosing the perfect style of working for you here and here.

Why is self-expression so important?

Self-expression is the most effective path to self-discovery.  It is a path inward that is built as you express to another person one precious thought, one genuine feeling, one cherished belief at a time.

Self-expression both prevents and relieves depression. The work we do together helps prevent – and conquer — depression, that sense of emptiness (“is this all there is?”), feeling “stuck” or immobilized by procrastination — by helping you bring your voice into your work, your relationships and your play.

Think of it this way.  The brilliant spark of your authentic self, if left buried and unexpressed, may either smolder with rage or threaten to go out in despair. Once liberated, your spark can light the world.

Together we’ll tap into some of the forgotten corners of your self so that the treasures there are transformed from a heavy weight of frustration – a source of depression – to a catalyst for action and a source of joy.

Together we’ll uncover your unique voice – your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, wishes – and gently understand the fears you may have about using it.

What is the connection between self-expression and resilience?

Studies show that the capacity to bounce back from adverse situations rests on three things: your beliefs, your support system, and the strength of your core self.  Self-expression is the most dependable way to strengthen your sense of self and build your ability to cope with the tough stuff of life.

What is the connection between self-expression and self-worth?

Having the experience of being consistently listened to, heard, understood, validated and accepted provides the foundation for a solid sense of self-worth. That kind of personal confidence paves the way for taking on new challenges and achieving great things — and from accomplishment springs self-esteem. Our work together provides you the opportunity for self-expression and supports you in providing it for your children, as well.

Isn’t embarking on a path of personal self-discovery self-“ish”?

Not in the least! Not only are your authentic self and your freely flowing voice your greatest gifts to the world, but suppressing them causes depression and makes you less accessible to the people who need you the most.  Read more about the importance of moms taking care of themeselves here: Speaking Out, Not a Luxury.

What can I do as a mom to support my child’s self-expression and individuality?

Moms play very specific roles in girls’ lives, from the moment they’re born. The Joyful Rebels approach to raising girls with passion and purpose provides a deep understanding of how to serve as a Mirror, an Anchor and Mentor to your daughters. Learning how to tap into the powerful link between self-expression, passion & purpose is key to raising girls who experience lives of confidence and joy, and paves the way to a deeply connected relationship of communication and sharing.

Read more about Raising Joyful Rebels — the class and the online course for moms.

Do I need a Life Coach or a therapist?

The Heart Steps approach was developed to give you the best of both worlds — along with the confidence of working with a professional clinical counselor every step of the way.

Coaching is a tool that we can use at specific points along the way — or for the entire journey toward feeling great about yourself and your life.   The Heart Steps approach provides this, as well as the opportunity for more in-depth, intensive psychotherapy, according to your needs.  No choices to make, no artificial lines to be drawn.  It’s all available to you, seamlessly.

These links will take you to more information:

Take a class
Take an ecourse
Online consultation
Live consultation (Live consultation can be added to any plan in 180-minute segments)
Heart Steps Plans comparison chart
Raising Joyful Rebels – the class
Raising Joyful Rebels — online course