Blog

How to Raise a Girl — The Morning Glory Experiments

Posted by on Jul 11, 2013 in Sea Change Blog, your daughter's voice | 0 comments

What do girls need in order to thrive – to grow into exactly who they’re meant to be? And if it’s different for every girl, then how do you figure out the requirements for your own daughter?   One long-ago wintry afternoon, the cover of a magazine left on the sofa caught my eye. In enticing contrast to the grayness outside, here was a photo of the most magnificent morning glories – along with the directions for creating an indoor window trellis, a veritable curtain of morning glories — right there in the middle of...

read more

“Slow down, daddy” — everyday moments teach girls to be assertive

Posted by on Jul 2, 2013 in Sea Change Blog, your daughter's voice | 0 comments

I am often asked, “How can I help my daughter to be more assertive?” One of the most powerful answers — something that you can put to work instantly — is already in your hands.   a Fourth of July Story Last year’s Fourth of July was my three-year-old granddaughter Belle’s first introduction to colors streaming across the sky and their powerful boom!   Although my daughter Kate willfully bypassed Girl Scouts, she is definitely aligned with the “Be prepared” motto.  Accordingly, the fireworks were...

read more

Tears and Joy

Posted by on Dec 24, 2012 in Sea Change Blog | 0 comments

Tears and Joy

This year’s holidays come in the wake of a tragedy that has painfully sharpened awareness of the vulnerability of innocents to violence to an overwhelming degree. When I found myself still reeling from the terrible news from Connecticut, a single song from a Christmas CD (“Thankful” by Josh Groban on the album “Noel”) helped me forgive my own powerlessness and provided me with a sense of renewed direction. (Please listen as you read on.) I have listened to this song again and again all week long.  I have listened again...

read more

Escape the Great Blame-the-Victim Hoax

Posted by on Jul 4, 2012 in Sea Change Blog | 0 comments

Escape the Great Blame-the-Victim Hoax

Walking to the back of my office today to grab a quick snack, I saw in my mind’s eye my previous client as she headed out the front door.  Thinking of her, I smiled, and a tiny light-bulb blinked on in my head. Often people feel that seeking help with their lives means that they are somehow less,when what it really signifies is their courage.  My clients are, truly without exception, wonderful, amazing people, and many of them have had in common one thing: Someone in their life has dealt them a heavy blow; someone has injured them, and...

read more

10 warning signs that you — or your teen — may be in an abusive relationship

Posted by on Mar 10, 2012 in Sea Change Blog | 0 comments

10 warning signs that you — or your teen — may be in an abusive relationship

I work every day with women whose self-esteem and whose very sense of competency has been eroded, day by day, over many years by remaining with an emotionally abusive partner.  “Little things” — like “gaslighting“, criticizing, controlling in subtle ways — are emotionally crippling.  Each day the self-worth of woman on the receiving end of this behavior disintegrates a little further, leaving her ever less capable of leaving.  And yet, when she talks about these experiences, she feels guilty, disloyal;...

read more

The Surprising Reason that Reassurance Can Be a Self-Esteem Killer

Posted by on Feb 15, 2012 in Sea Change Blog | 0 comments

The Surprising Reason that Reassurance Can Be a Self-Esteem Killer

What is it that helps people regain their balance when the mess of daily life knocks them down? It’s not reassurance that everything’s going to be all right. Actually, the most powerful stabilizing force is simple and difficult at the same time, and that’s being comfortable with your own feelings, no matter what they are. For example.  It’s 5:00, and the Arsenic Hour is in full swing. The baby’s crying, your kindergartner is racing across the house in her beloved, but muddy rubber frog boots, and dinner is...

read more

Join Me on Facebook and Get Your Copy of Getting Off the Self-Esteem Roller Coaster!

Posted by on Jan 27, 2012 in Sea Change Blog | 0 comments

Join Me on Facebook and Get Your Copy of Getting Off the Self-Esteem Roller Coaster!

I’m very excited to tell you that The Self Development Place is now active on Facebook! I’ll be sharing daily tips to inspire you to pursue your dreams, have great relationships, avoid depression, bounce back from frustration, — and hang in there until you succeed! You’ll also find strategies for working with gifted children and for supporting girls in creating dynamic lives for themselves! Now – a little about this special ebook — Getting Off the Self-Esteem Roller Coaster! Do you ever feel like your mood...

read more

Genius and Despair: how you or your gifted child may be like Rachmaninoff

Posted by on Jan 9, 2012 in Sea Change Blog | 0 comments

Genius and Despair: how you or your gifted child may be like Rachmaninoff

Discouraged?  Feeling like crumpling up your current project and pitching it?  Please read on. I was reading Jonathan D. Kramer’s program notes during a Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra concert that I recently attended and was astounded to read what the composer had to say about his own work: “I have just played over the first movement of my concerto, and only now has it become clear to me that the transition from the first theme to the second is not good and that in this form the first theme is no more than an introduction —...

read more

How to Escape the “Smart Trap”

Posted by on Dec 6, 2011 in Sea Change Blog, your daughter's voice | 0 comments

How to Escape the “Smart Trap”

As the parent of a now-adult who teaches herself new languages as a hobby while I struggle just to remember a new phone number, I have a fine-tuned comprehension for the fact that some people’s brains can do things that mine cannot.  Not only is this both fascinating and fantastic, it takes a lot of pressure off of me.  There’s no need to prove that I can pick up Swahili, because, well, I can’t – at least not without a full-court press. Because I understand this, my self-esteem is intact. I know where my talents lie,...

read more

On Becoming Your Self

Posted by on Nov 11, 2011 in Sea Change Blog | 0 comments

On Becoming Your Self

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were meant to stand out?” – Ian Wallace There are those moments — sometimes in the dark where no one can see, sometimes a glimmer coming through the trees like a ray of sunlight — when you can feel the spark of possibility that lives inside of you.  It exists, like swans in the moonlight, whether or not anyone sees. And then it seems as though it is just as quickly gone. You no longer see yourself from the inside out; instead, you are looking from the outside in. ...

read more