Sea Change Blog

How to Raise a Girl — The Morning Glory Experiments

What do girls need in order to thrive – to grow into exactly who they’re meant to be? And if it’s different for every girl, then how do you figure out the requirements for your own daughter?   One long-ago wintry afternoon, the cover of a magazine left on the sofa caught my eye. In enticing contrast to the grayness outside, here was a photo of the most magnificent morning glories – along with the directions for creating an indoor window trellis, a veritable curtain of morning glories — right there in the middle of November.  I could create spring – in my living room — now....

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“Slow down, daddy” — everyday moments teach girls to be assertive

I am often asked, “How can I help my daughter to be more assertive?” One of the most powerful answers — something that you can put to work instantly — is already in your hands.   a Fourth of July Story Last year’s Fourth of July was my three-year-old granddaughter Belle’s first introduction to colors streaming across the sky and their powerful boom!   Although my daughter Kate willfully bypassed Girl Scouts, she is definitely aligned with the “Be prepared” motto.  Accordingly, the fireworks were explained to Belle well in advance – everything she could expect,...

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Tears and Joy

Tears and Joy

This year’s holidays come in the wake of a tragedy that has painfully sharpened awareness of the vulnerability of innocents to violence to an overwhelming degree. When I found myself still reeling from the terrible news from Connecticut, a single song from a Christmas CD (“Thankful” by Josh Groban on the album “Noel”) helped me forgive my own powerlessness and provided me with a sense of renewed direction. (Please listen as you read on.) I have listened to this song again and again all week long.  I have listened again today. It’s not the ideas — in the first verse — of...

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Escape the Great Blame-the-Victim Hoax

Escape the Great Blame-the-Victim Hoax

Walking to the back of my office today to grab a quick snack, I saw in my mind’s eye my previous client as she headed out the front door.  Thinking of her, I smiled, and a tiny light-bulb blinked on in my head. Often people feel that seeking help with their lives means that they are somehow less,when what it really signifies is their courage.  My clients are, truly without exception, wonderful, amazing people, and many of them have had in common one thing: Someone in their life has dealt them a heavy blow; someone has injured them, and they need relief from the pain and healing of the...

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The Surprising Reason that Reassurance Can Be a Self-Esteem Killer

The Surprising Reason that Reassurance Can Be a Self-Esteem Killer

What is it that helps people regain their balance when the mess of daily life knocks them down? It’s not reassurance that everything’s going to be all right. Actually, the most powerful stabilizing force is simple and difficult at the same time, and that’s being comfortable with your own feelings, no matter what they are. For example.  It’s 5:00, and the Arsenic Hour is in full swing. The baby’s crying, your kindergartner is racing across the house in her beloved, but muddy rubber frog boots, and dinner is burning.  Maternal bliss is nothing but a pipe dream; in...

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Join Me on Facebook and Get Your Copy of Getting Off the Self-Esteem Roller Coaster!

Join Me on Facebook and Get Your Copy of Getting Off the Self-Esteem Roller Coaster!

I’m very excited to tell you that The Self Development Place is now active on Facebook! I’ll be sharing daily tips to inspire you to pursue your dreams, have great relationships, avoid depression, bounce back from frustration, — and hang in there until you succeed! You’ll also find strategies for working with gifted children and for supporting girls in creating dynamic lives for themselves! Now – a little about this special ebook — Getting Off the Self-Esteem Roller Coaster! Do you ever feel like your mood is going up and down like the steep rise and...

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