Sea Change Blog

Genius and Despair: how you or your gifted child may be like Rachmaninoff

Genius and Despair: how you or your gifted child may be like Rachmaninoff

Discouraged?  Feeling like crumpling up your current project and pitching it?  Please read on. I was reading Jonathan D. Kramer’s program notes during a Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra concert that I recently attended and was astounded to read what the composer had to say about his own work: “I have just played over the first movement of my concerto, and only now has it become clear to me that the transition from the first theme to the second is not good and that in this form the first theme is no more than an introduction — and that no fool would believe it to be a second...

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How to Escape the “Smart Trap”

How to Escape the “Smart Trap”

As the parent of a now-adult who teaches herself new languages as a hobby while I struggle just to remember a new phone number, I have a fine-tuned comprehension for the fact that some people’s brains can do things that mine cannot.  Not only is this both fascinating and fantastic, it takes a lot of pressure off of me.  There’s no need to prove that I can pick up Swahili, because, well, I can’t — at least not without a full-court press. Because I understand this, my self-esteem is intact. I know where my talents lie, and I’m not too concerned about the rest....

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On Becoming Your Self

On Becoming Your Self

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were meant to stand out?” — Ian Wallace There are those moments — sometimes in the dark where no one can see, sometimes a glimmer coming through the trees like a ray of sunlight — when you can feel the spark of possibility that lives inside of you.  It exists, like swans in the moonlight, whether or not anyone sees. And then it seems as though it is just as quickly gone. You no longer see yourself from the inside out; instead, you are looking from the outside in.  Every way in which you do not match some arbitrary...

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Wellness and transformation — as important as golf?

Wellness and transformation — as important as golf?

When I talk about sea change,  I am referring to the sometimes subtle shifts in thinking that transform the way you experience yourself and your life.  Sea change, by this definition, is exciting!  It feels good. But is it necessary? Women often feel wrong about committing time or money to their own personal growth.  “My time belongs to my family,” you may believe.  And, particularly if you aren’t the primary financial provider in your household, you may feel guilty even thinking about investing in your own development as if it were a superfluous luxury, despite significant...

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The Window Seat in Your Heart

The Window Seat in Your Heart

For kids who are trying to cope with competition from their siblings and maybe for you, too, if you’ve experienced certain kinds of emotional trauma in your childhood, sharing someone they (or you) love and need can create uniquely poignant pain and even panic.  I’ll try to give you some insight into this and an idea to help you — or your child — gain some control over these difficult feelings. Children have a very concrete notion about how much “space” there is in the heart of someone they love.  With the help of emotionally healthy adults, kids learn...

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Not Guilty, Your Honor!

Not Guilty, Your Honor!

I often see clients living their lives under a cloud of guilt that becomes darker and more ominous as each day goes on.  The chocolate truffle that “should not” have been eaten; the dog who “should” have been walked; the child whose forgotten homework “should” have been delivered to school; the family dinner that “should” have been produced; the intimacy that was declined —  each is seen as a personal failing. By noon, the cloud of guilt and worthlessness is pitch black. It’s very “in” to take responsibility for your...

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