Cary contacted me when she learned that her husband had been involved with another woman for many years during their marriage. At our first meeting, it was clear that Cary was shattered by this betrayal. Because she had never questioned or suspected her husband of dishonesty, the knowledge of his affair caused her to lose all faith in her own perceptions. This often happens when there has been deception or emotional abuse in a relationship.
Cary began to understand fairly quickly how seriously devalued she had felt in her marriage and how this had eroded her self-confidence over the years. We met face-to-face and also by phone to process her trauma. Downloadable tools, like “Becoming Aware,” “Re-establishing Terms of Connection,” and “Believe It or Not, ” and a journal and ebook, Reclaiming Your Self — your companion to moving through divorce, used in conjunction with frequent consultation with me through her password-protected journal, helped her regain her balance and sense of self-worth. She was able to begin to envision herself in a career and could imagine living comfortably single. She began to take steps to make it happen.
As our work progressed, Cary wanted to bring her children into this experience of change and personal growth. We utilized Heart Steps Chats to promote sharing and communication between the three of them, as they began to envision how their life together would be going forward. This allowed me to model interactions with her children while simultaneously observing their interactions with one another. As a result, we could subsequently utilize online consultation and telephone contact to provide Cary with coaching to assist her in helping her children through the transition.
Cary and her family are well on their way to shaping a new path that they can feel joyful about.