Marissa, age 41: being mom to three complex individuals — and still being me

Marissa was overwhelmed with chaos at home.  Her children, ages 13,
9 and 7, ignored her directions, which not only increased her sense of inadequacy, but put them at risk academically, emotionally and socially.

Initially, we met face-to-face. As we talked about how she was feeling and what she wanted to change, it became clear to Marissa that she was losing herself.  She had become Disciplinarian Mom and had put aside her own interests and passions.  Utilizing tools like “Missing Pieces,” Marissa was able to get back in touch with herself and, as a result, began to enjoy herself more.  Her sense of self-worth increased. She was able to feel comfortable in her authority and convey the expectation that her children would behave respectfully and responsibly.

Subsequently, I met with Marissa and her oldest, who was having difficulties at school. Seeing them interact allowed me to coach Marissa online and respond within a day to her notes as she began applying new parenting techniques.  She requested that we utilize coaching time for me to attend school conference through a conference call, which allowed me to help her establish a working relationship with her daughter’s teachers and develop a plan for helping her daughter succeed.

Marissa’s son was in significant distress.  In the Heart Steps format, service is not diagnosis-driven, so he did not have to experience being labeled in order to receive psychotherapy.  While it is often advisable for a child to have his own therapist, in this situation I was able to work both individually with him and with the two of them together. While it is not insurance-billable and does not apply toward meeting insurance deductible, Marissa’s Heart Steps Transformation, which included both preventive and therapeutic services, may meet criteria for a medical deduction.