“To receive this check, your job is to earn a bachelor’s degree with a 3.5 GPA,” I went on to explain.  “Knowing that this check is waiting for you, how would you go about accomplishing this so that you get to claim it?”

Silence.  And then, finally, “I guess I’d work harder.”

“Work harder… hmmmm.  What does that actually mean?” I asked.

“Well, you know, work harder.”

As the conversation went on, it dawned on her that the source of the cool half million would be her own income, if she planned her college education as a business venture.  We talked about how to get the most for her money, where she could save, how to seek out support; we strategized about what classes to take, approaching the act of learning as a “job” responsibility in the business of attending college; and how to zoom in to find a major she’d love that would lead to a career she would also love — one that could make her a good living in today’s world.

We went on to talk about adopting a project management approach to knocking out college courses.

One thing I’ve noticed with genuine alarm is the use of technology by high schools and colleges to keep track of students’ assignments for them.  With no record-keeping on their own part, a couple of clicks lets them see what’s due.

I think this is a case of the pendulum swinging too far.  Historically, writing down assignments, mapping out and completing them, keeping track of grades and turning things in on time was the responsibility of the student.  There were, of course, a small minority of instructors who habitually were weeks behind in grading, so students could not monitor their own progress.  I’m guessing that irate parents, whose students did not fare well in this situation, demanded change.  So, we’ve gone from almost no communication between high school instructors and parents — to full access to a website with their adolescents’ real-time grades and assignments.

The hope, of course, is that parents could help their kids stay on track (and maybe stop blaming the teachers when they don’t).  But the result that I’m seeing more often is that young adults experience a blurring of boundaries of responsibility for their school performance.  Their parents are now tracking their assignments — after the school relieves them of the task of writing them down!  Independent initiative to bring a grade up is often overshadowed by a parent’s noticing it before the student, followed by an unpleasant, motivation-killing confrontation.  In effect, parents have, to varying degrees, taken over responsibilities that rightly belonged to students stepping into the demands of adulthood. Failure is not allowed to happen.

While adolescents vary in the level of support they need from adults, they are all developmentally slated to strive for independence.  Too much intrusion into their responsibilities can have the nasty effect of taking away their privacy and their initiative.  But even when parents handle these new powers judiciously and respectfully — and some do it wonderfully — there’s the plain and simple truth that in order to succeed in college and in the work of their choice, young adults need to be able to own and manage their own responsibilities.

I can say for certain that no job I have ever had came with a daily to-do list prepared especially for me. And yet, my young client had almost no skill in envisioning an assignment as a series of steps, never mind estimating the time needed for completion in order to come up with a reasonable start date.

As I continued to talk with this student, all of these opportunities for self development became evident. In fact, it was such a good conversation that it will become “College: Your First Business” — the next Self Development Place ecourse — designed especially for students graduating high school or completing their freshman year of college.

The point is, “working harder” just won’t cut it.  Success requires vision, strategizing, determination, and focus — all of which fall out naturally from approaching college as a business venture and students as entrepreneurs.

Gosh, I wish someone had shown me how to do that!

The New Year, like a fresh unspoiled snow, invites new beginnings. It’s almost a feeling of seed sprouting within; a sense of possibility, optimism and excitement.

In today’s podcast, I’ll provide you with insights and tips that will help you bring your wishes for the new year into reality.

So – hang on to your optimism, and let’s get started!

Listen here:

Download here.

Invincible Voice is loaded with tips, insight, inspiration and conversation about vibrant, depression-free living. It’s all about moving from being invisible to being invincible. I’ll talk about why women give up their voices and how you can get yours back. In the process, we’ll look at parenting and how it affects children’s capacity for resilience — and the impact of the way you were parented on your vulnerability to depression as an adult. We’ll explore the impact of trauma on voice; lost voices in the workplace, how to raise daughters to joyfully be exactly who they are — and that’s just a sample!

When you need a little inspiration, a gentle nudge that reminds you of your own value, or ideas about how to support your friends, kids and colleagues in sharing their unique voices, just listen in on any one of these calls.

Finding your voice will change your life.

To receive the links to weekly podcasts, subscribe to the Sea Change ezine here. You’ll be added to The Self Development Place email list to be notified of the topics for future Invincible Voice podcasts as well as about other happenings at The Self Development Place.

“If the path before you is clear,” said Joseph Campbell, “you’re probably on someone else’s.”

Whether the next steps you’re struggling with have to do with your children, your job or a significant relationship, you may not be able to see beyond the very next brick in the path. Life can’t come with a map; each life is different. Today’s call is to help you as you choose each step on your own path. It’s about having the courage to celebrate your own unique journey.

Listen here:

Download here.

Invincible Voice is loaded with tips, insight, inspiration and conversation about vibrant, depression-free living. It’s all about moving from being invisible to being invincible. I’ll talk about why women give up their voices and how you can get yours back. In the process, we’ll look at parenting and how it affects children’s capacity for resilience — and the impact of the way you were parented on your vulnerability to depression as an adult. We’ll explore the impact of trauma on voice; lost voices in the workplace, how to raise daughters to joyfully be exactly who they are — and that’s just a sample!

When you need a little inspiration, a gentle nudge that reminds you of your own value, or ideas about how to support your friends, kids and colleagues in sharing their unique voices, just listen in on any one of these calls.

Finding your voice will change your life.

To receive the links to weekly podcasts, subscribe to the Sea Change ezine here. You’ll be added to The Self Development Place email list to be notified of the topics for future Invincible Voice podcasts as well as about other happenings at The Self Development Place.

Thomas Leonard, considered the father of coaching, coined the term “tolerations” to refer to everything from a drippy faucet to a toxic relationship; things that bug you, but that you tolerate. Whether you’re shoving things to the back of a closet or to the back of your mind, it’s costing you. In this call, you’ll have a chance to identify what you’re currently tolerating and learn why you ought to stop.

Listen here:

Download here.

Invincible Voice is loaded with tips, insight, inspiration and conversation about vibrant, depression-free living. It’s all about moving from being invisible to being invincible. I’ll talk about why women give up their voices and how you can get yours back. In the process, we’ll look at parenting and how it affects children’s capacity for resilience — and the impact of the way you were parented on your vulnerability to depression as an adult. We’ll explore the impact of trauma on voice; lost voices in the workplace, how to raise daughters to joyfully be exactly who they are — and that’s just a sample!

When you need a little inspiration, a gentle nudge that reminds you of your own value, or ideas about how to support your friends, kids and colleagues in sharing their unique voices, just listen in on any one of these calls.

Finding your voice will change your life.

To receive the links to weekly podcasts, subscribe to the Sea Change ezine here. You’ll be added to The Self Development Place email list to be notified of the topics for future Invincible Voice podcasts as well as about other happenings at The Self Development Place.

We hear a lot these days about “passion.” Everywhere we look, it seems like someone is telling us to “find our passion,” to “follow our passion,” to “live passionately.” In the abstract, it sounds like wonderful advice, but certainly there are not few among us who are thinking, “Where am I even supposed to look?” or even: “I don’t think I have a great passion!”

But what if it isn’t so hard! What if deep down we already know where to find it – because it’s a part of us?

What if there is a way to go about this that makes sense, one that you can do?

In fact, “finding your passion” means connecting with what is deepest inside. It begins with finding yourself. It’s part of what I like to call The Marigold Theory. The idea is simple: When you drop a marigold seed into the soil, it is genetically coded to grow into a marigold. If you try to somehow coax it into becoming a Poppy, it will disappoint you and itself, and it may even die.

Likewise, we are each born with a unique set of potentials. How sad if the Marigolds among us spend their lives trying to be Poppies! Our task is to get back to that original seed and to create an environment where its potential can be realized, an environment where it can bloom.

Each of us has little sparks of energy that appear here and there throughout the day. Something that happens, an idea, or a thought kindles a reaction in us. We have a burst of energy around it. Pay attention and follow that energy! It comes directly from our core and inspires us into action. And – you guessed it! – action inspired from within is passion.

The opportunities are all around us. Sometimes they’re hiding in plain sight! Your passion is in that special charge that you feel when you’re doing something that you really love. It’s there in the way that there are some things that you always have energy for no matter how exhausted you are. It’s that natural high that you just sometimes get.

Those chances to pursue our own energy occur when we least expect them. One spring afternoon, while wandering with a friend through the shops of the historic town of Lebanon, Ohio, I fell in love with a miniature glass conservatory in the window of a beautiful little garden store. Enchanted with the possibilities from the moment I saw it, I knew I had to learn to build my own. It was a tantalizing thought that kept coming back. As so often happens when we aren’t afraid to follow our energy, the opportunity to learn presented itself unexpectedly a few months later.

When our attention is suddenly captured by a new idea or activity or object, there’s usually more to it than we initially realize. By following that energy and allowing it to perc, that unconscious element has an opportunity to unfold. Loose ends gel into a form that we may not understand immediately. For me, designing these miniature conservatories had many meanings. Far from being unfriendly spaces that exposed and made the inhabitants vulnerable as the old expression about “people in glass houses” suggests, each of these tiny greenhouses is a protective space, a life-affirming and nurturing environment supporting the plants within as they reach for the sky. Each fresh sheet of glass is a new opportunity with no limits, and it became evident that the process of creating fresh designs was a metaphor for developing a new and larger vision for my life. Many things have followed from that moment in Lebanon when I allowed myself to be guided by my energy.

Start by creating a trail of clues for yourself. Dedicate a small journal to jotting down those little things during the day that capture your attention. When you find one that you can pursue, don’t hesitate! You’ll be on the path to a whole new adventure and one step closer to creating a life you’ll love to wake up to!